So your now ex-girlfriend has broken up with you and you need to know whether or not the No Contact Rule is the right move at this point, right?
Tough position you’re in there and I sympathize. Been there and know what you’re going through. The no contact rule IS probably the right move but let’s just clarify 100% whether it’s the best thing for your specific situation:
If, in the last couple of weeks you’ve had either the breakup itself OR you’ve had arguments or other negative interactions with your ex, then yes absolutely the no contact rule is your best move right now. Because you need some time to let the dust settle/let her emotions cool. Until that happens, nothing else will work, not even the tried-and-tested techniques you’ll find further inside this website.
But how do you go about the no contact rule after a breakup so that it works to make your ex come back?
Well clearly the situation is delicate, so if you’re gonna do this, you need to do it in the right way. And there’s more to it than just saying “don’t contact her”…because what if she reaches out to you DURING no contact after breakup? Do you reply or don’t you?
Having seen this type of situation thousands of times since I started running this site, and after helping many guys to successfully get their ex back, I know the best way to use the NC rule. Here it is:
How to use The No Contact Rule
You should set an initial no contact rule period of 10-21 days. At the end of this is when to break no contact. It’s long enough for her to get you out of her head for a while (which she needs if she broke up with you), but it’s not impossibly long for you to wait. Nor does it really give her enough time to get serious (or at least any more serious) with someone else, nor to fully get over you. It’s a case of leave her alone to get her back. You asked no contact rule how long? Well, there’s your answer.
Definitively, how long is the no contact rule after breakup?
It’s a 10-21 day disappearing act that you need to perform, and it should start right now. Even if it’s been longer than that since the breakup – if you haven’t done a No Contact Period of that length yet, then now is the next best time to start and do it. It IS necessary.
Now that you know how long the no contact rule should last, you’ll need to know what to do AFTER no contact. You should use the method I used. I’ve taught it to thousands of guys since I was in your situation, and it has worked for many of them.
At this point there’s several questions regarding the no contact rule that you will want answers to:
1. What if my ex contacts me first during no contact? Should I respond? What should I say?
2. How do I know the EXACT number of days to do no contact, within the 10-21 day guidelines?
3. How can I reduce my feelings of missing her enough that I’ll be able to maintain no contact?
5. If she doesn’t try to contact me, do I have any hope?
6. What if it’s ALREADY been 10-21 days or more since I last communicated with her?
7. I still live with my ex. How can I do the no contact rule?
8. Myself and my ex work at the same place. How can I do no contact?
9. Myself and my ex have kids together. How can I do the no contact rule?
Let me answer those 12 questions one at a time. You can tap any of them to save yourself from having to scroll all the way down this page to get to your answer. That said, I would actually recommend reading all of the answers, because each one contains useful little bits of information about the workings of attraction that are bound to help you at one stage or another with your ex.
1. What if my ex contacts me first? Should I respond? What should I say?
If she contacts you first, then at a certain point you absolutely MUST end no contact and respond, BUT THERE ARE RULES THAT YOU NEED TO FOLLOW FOR THIS! Keep reading. Absolutely don’t rush into a quick response to her.
Before you contact her back, you need to be sure that she’s signs of enough interest, such that it’s worth ending no contact early… Because if she’s only slightly interested in hearing from you, then you’d get better results from carrying on the no contact rule for longer.
What you should do, is wait until she has tried to communicate with you three times, before you respond. After she has tried three times to get in touch, it is clear that there’s enough interest coming in from her, such that it is worth ending no contact early, and moving on to communicating with her. Because after she’s tried to get in touch three times, you’ve clearly got a strong indication of interest from her, so it makes sense to ‘strike while the iron is hot’.
If your ex has tried to contact you three times (so that means on three separate occasions – it only counts as one occasion if she’s given you three messages or calls in the same one hour period), then you can communicate with her. Like I said though, this situation is delicate, so it’s important that you get this communication right.
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NOTE: On many social media outlets, people can see when you were last online. The idea of no contact rule psychology is to make your ex miss you, with the assumption that you are out of contact due to being busy. She should then wonder what exactly you are busy doing, and start to worry that you could (potentially) be seeing someone else. That would increase the chance that she starts feeling interested in you again, because signs of preselection push women into competitive mode. This is the power of no contact!
However, if you are going online often and she can see that you’ve been online after she last messaged you, yet you haven’t responded, she will then believe that you are ignoring her. This is a problem that can be solved by:
A. going online less – just for 10-21 days during no contact after a break up (focus the time that you would have spent on social media, on developing yourself and your Dating Market Value instead).
And B. changing the settings on your phone so that you are not notified every time a message comes in on facebook, whatsapp, snapchat or whatever app you use to communicate. Outside of work, you should be giving people, especially your ex, your attention when YOU want to – not at the second that they demand attention. They won’t value your time if you give it to them so cheaply.
If this situation does happen, and your ex-girlfriend comes to you and says, “I can see you’ve been online and are ignoring me!” then break no contact just once to send this message: “I’ve had a new lease of life lately, so I’ll be out of contact for a while because it’s helping me.” That can be your, “no contact letter” if you need one.
That message will have your ex trying to work out what a “new lease of life” is, and she may then get jealous that it might mean you’re seeing someone else. This worry that she could feel, may just be enough to shake away the boredom and stagnation that she had felt towards your relationship.
In other words, if she feels dread or worry about what you are getting up to, then we are headed in the right direction. If she replies to THAT message, then just wait until she has tried 3 times after your reply, before communicating back.
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Tap here to return to the list of no contact rule related questions at the top of this page.
2. How do I know THE EXACT number of days no contact to do, within the 10-21 day guidelines?
For most situations, 10-14 days is going to be enough. This gives your ex enough time to miss you, but not so much time that she’s able to then STOP missing you again. However if your gut feeling and instinct is that your situation surely needs longer than that, then anything up to 21 days may help, and at least won’t hurt. Anything up to 21 days and you’re able to capitalize on how no contact makes an ex miss you. Beyond that and she’s going to start to get over those emotions again.
For most situations though, 10-14 days makes for a healthy duration for the no contact phase. Choose a number of days within that time span, and stick to it. That is unless of course your gut is telling you a bit longer would be better. In that case anything up to 21 days will be fine.
The reason I can only give a guide time for most situations of 10-14 days is because we need to make sure that you avoid contacting your ex on Fridays (all day), Saturdays (all day) and to a lesser extent, Sundays (mornings only). So for example if you are about to begin the no communication period, and today was Tuesday, then a 10 day no contact duration would cause a problem – since after 10 days it will be Friday, and Fridays are off limits for a reason I’m about to give. But on days 12, 13 or 14 (that’s Sunday, Monday or Tuesday) you are free to contact her because those days are NOT off limits for restarting contact. Also, it may be inconvenient for you to contact her on a specific day, so this was just another reason to give the no contact duration for most situations a bit of flexibility at 10-14 days, instead of an exact number of days.
Of course, the natural question for you to ask now is, “what’s so bad about contacting her on Fridays, Saturdays or Sunday Mornings?”
Contacting her at those times indicates to her that at key social times (Friday evenings and all day Saturday especially) you are thinking about and missing her. This indicates that you are not socializing like a socially well equipped (read: attractive) man usually would be. So it harms attraction to communicate with her at these times because of what it tells her about your social value.
Also, by NOT communicating with her at these times, she will think you are busy, and the idea of you spending time with another girl will enter her head. If she starts getting jealous that perhaps this sort of thing could be happening, then I can promise that it will only help. One of the best ways to change an ex’s interest level from bored of you, to being back interested again, is to let her panic that you could be with another girl. Yes, panic and dread can clear her boredom and ‘fed-up-ness’.
Tap here to return to the list of no contact rule related questions at the top of this page.
3. How can I reduce my feelings of missing my ex enough that I’ll be able to maintain no contact?
I know a super effective technique for how to maintain no contact. You can reduce your feelings of missing her by realizing that no communication from you to her WILL actually sub-communicate TO her a few attractive things about you:
– It tells her you don’t need her
An attractive man has a life away from his girlfriend. He has enough other stuff going on that if his girlfriend drops him, then sure he’ll be hurt, but there will still be other parts of his life to occupy his mind. That’s one reason why he wouldn’t feel the need to call her – she was one of the legs in his life but he still has other legs left to stand on.
Even if you have nothing decent left in your life now that she’s gone, she doesn’t have to know that. We don’t necessarily need to change you or your life much to get her back, we just need to change * her perception * of you and your life. More on this in the next bullet point.
Side note: If your life is totally empty of anything positive now that she’s gone, taking up a hobby or two is gonna be super important. Not in your bid to get her back, but just for your own mental and physical wellbeing. You gotta try to drag yourself out the house, however much you don’t feel like it, and do something that you know usually makes you feel better. Exercise is the best for this because it releases endorphins in your brain which make you feel good. And of course there’s the physical benefits too. I used swimming for this during my last breakup, and I always felt better after my session than I did before it.
– No contact also shows her that you could easily find another girl to replace her
Believe me, however fed up of you she got, she’ll be wondering why you’ve stopped contacting her without warning. One of her thoughts will be “perhaps he’s found a new girl”. Having thoughts like that in her head works firmly in your favor. Women have this preselection wiring as a BIG part of their brain’s attraction mechanism, which subconsciously tells them “other girls LIKE him, and that means he’s attractive”. The key word there is “perhaps”, because it’s the uncertainty about it in her mind that really helps you here.
Also, women are very competitive when it comes to men, so if she thinks you’ve maybe got a new girl (and she WILL see it as a possibility, because of the no contact rule), her natural desire to rise above the other chicks who she believes may want you, can then create a sense of competition and excitement, and thus renewed attraction.
Conclusively, no contact sends your ex non-verbal messages about you that have the potential to push her attraction switches. The irony here is that nothing you can physically say to her this soon after the breakup or this soon after last contacting her, can create that first feeling of attraction in her towards you again. Only no contact can do it. No contact to get her back!
Any time you feel the need to make contact with your ex during the no contact period, just read the 2 bullet points above, and you’ll realize that you actually ARE contacting her BY NOT contacting her. And the messages she is receiving from this lack of contact will attract her far better than any words you could say to her could (for now at least).
Finally, no contact after being dumped can be made a lot easier by avoiding looking at old pictures that have her in them. If you’ve got a picture of her up in your bedroom, put it away for now. If you’ve set the wallpaper on your phone to a picture of her, change it. It will only make you miss her more. The less reminders you’ve got of her, the easier Step 1 here will be. It’s just for 10-21 days.
So there’s your help with no contact. Hang in there man, I know you can do it!
Tap here to return to the list of no-contact-rule-related questions at the top of this page.
4. What should I do if I broke the No Contact Rule by reaching out to my ex-girlfriend even though she didn’t contact me first?
I get guys coming to me a lot saying, “I broke the no contact rule, now what?” In this sort of situation you should very simply restart the No Contact Period. Yes, restart from scratch. Why?
Well if you’ve broken the rules of no contact before the No Contact Period had been completed, then you’re most likely trying to re-attract your ex before she’s ready to be re-attracted. She needs time out of contact from you in order to feel ‘fresh’ enough about you, such that she will have the capacity to feel attraction for you again.
The only way to get her to feel ‘fresh’ about you, is through no contact, and because the ‘freshness’ was broken when you reached out to her, it needs to be done fully (10-21 days with no interruptions (unless SHE starts the contact)) in order to get back the desired ‘freshness’ effect. Unfortunately that means starting the No Contact Period again from the beginning. Breaking no contact with an ex nearly always results in a restart being the correct next move.
If, on the other hand, your mistake was telling her how much you miss and love her and want her back, or any other equally UNattractive action (such as the Category A ones from my get your girlfriend back guide), then just the same, you need to restart the No Contact Period as if you are starting from scratch. Why?
Because unattractive actions reduce the attraction she feels for you and put her back into a state where she will not be receptive to anything else that you try… UNTIL she has had some time away from you in order to forget about the unattractive actions that you took.
And hey I know it’s not ideal to have to start again with Step 1 here, but it’s better than continuing to reach out to her without any break first, which would just drive her further and further away.
Tap here to return to the list of no contact rule related questions at the top of this page.
5. If she doesn’t try to contact me, do I have any hope?
There’s a good chance that she wants to reach out to you, but she knows that if she does, that will just make it harder for her to get over you fully. In other words, the reason she hasn’t communicated with you might be that she’s fighting with feelings she still has for you. So if that’s the case then you absolutely DO have hope.
Anyway, if she doesn’t contact you, take comfort in the knowledge that your disappearing act will at least make her extra curious as to where you’ve gone (“has he met someone else?”), and THAT can play right into your hands.
Ideally though, she’ll contact you first. That would definitely put you in a stronger position and make getting her back easier, because her reaching out to you first sets a dynamic of her chasing you. That’s absolutely and completely the sort of dynamic we want to build. It’s what all healthy relationships consist of – a situation in which the woman in the relationship is continuously chasing after and supplicating to, the man. Why? Because it’s in a woman’s nature to submit to a dominant (read: attractive) man. We’ll be discussing this further later on.
Tap here to return to the list of no contact rule related questions at the top of this page.
6. What if it’s ALREADY been 10-21 days or longer since I last communicated with my ex?
Then you’ve already completed the no contact rule to get ex back and can now move on to the rest of the steps you need to take, like my article on what to do after no contact says.
7. I still live with my ex. How can I do the no contact rule?
You can’t, but what you can do is mimic the effect of no contact by going cold on her.
Now, it’s worth noting here that as a general rule, if a woman goes cold on you, you should go even colder. This gives you a much better chance of resurrecting her love for you because when you go even colder, she feels inclined to make you warm up to her again. Women love this kind of challenge.
At the very least, going cold yourself beats giving her lots of attention, even though she’s giving you very little, because then you’d clearly be chasing/pursuing, which would turn her off.
How do you go cold?
Going cold just means making no effort at all to make conversation – let her carry the conversations if she wants to – but don’t actively engage her or try to keep the talking going. My advice on what to do when you see your ex is relevant here.
Paradoxically, you’ll want to seem upbeat and positive even though you’re not talking a whole lot. Because if you seem low or negative, you would come across as angry or upset at her, which isn’t helpful. It’s better to come across as fairly unaffected by the breakup because this will A. shatter her ego a bit, which might just make her realize that she’s already got the best man she can get, and B. show her that you don’t need her. This shows her your strength of character.
When you see one another after not seeing each other for a few hours, like after coming home from work, there’s no harm in saying hi, because to not say hi when you see her makes you seem bitter, sad, angry etc. My point is: just do not actively look to create conversation. There’s no need to ask how her day was, for example.
If she engages you in conversation, the approach to take is to be lighthearted and maybe even playful, but without trying to extend the conversation any further. In other words, answer her questions in a lighthearted, upbeat or positive way – but don’t ask her another question (which would prolong the conversation).
The goal of doing this is to get her to invest more effort in communicating than you do, and thus she would then slip into the chaser role. From here it’s possible to resurrect the attraction. And even if she doesn’t make conversation, it would then more or less become no contact, which in itself represents progress regardless.
So you see, you can get results by going cold, whatever her reaction is.
Alongside doing what I just described, it is best to be home for LESS time. Be out of the house and, at least in her mind, busy. The easiest and most effective way to do this is to start coming home LATE. I mean very late. Like 10 or 11pm. Then after you get home and she interrogates you about why you’re coming home so late recently, turn it into a joke or find some other way to avoid giving a direct answer.
Your aim is to keep her guessing what you’re up to, because when you let her mind wonder about where you’re at in the evenings, she can begin to panic and feel jealous that you might (only might) have met someone else. And if she’s in THAT mindset, it’s likely to shake away any boredom she had felt towards you and the relationship.
If your woman loses interest in you, letting her feel DREAD is often the best way to resurrect her feelings for you. To this end, one thing you can do after the no contact period is over and if things haven’t improved, is come home late with a slight whiff of women’s perfume on you, or a slight trace of lipstick on your face. It should be barely detectable.
If her love for you is still under a coma, that could be just the trick to shock it back into life. But like I said, this is something to try later on after you have exhausted other options.
Another concern in this living together situation is the question of who eventually moves out, if it gets to that stage.
DO NOT BE SUBMISSIVE BY AGREEING TO MOVE OUT. This is a chance for you to show some dominance and backbone (attractive qualities to her) by standing your ground and making it very clear that you ain’t going nowhere.
On the contrary, if you are the one to leave, you are showing weakness by submitting to her, which would cause further loss of attraction and respect. Be a man about this and stand your ground. Even if she leaves the place, your chances of getting her back will have increased by you showing dominance and backbone.
There’s also the question of should you kick her out and make her leave. If she has disrespected you big time (like if she’s cheated, for example) then yes you should kick her out. Even if you’ve got kids you should kick her out, explaining to her that you’ve got kids to bring up and there’s no place for a disloyal and disrespectful woman. I mean sure, she’s probably got a right to custody of the kids, but the purpose of kicking her out is to show dominance and backbone so that she’ll hopefully come crawling back very soon, ready to bow to your standards and respect you. Because truly, she cannot feel attraction for a man who accepts and tolerates poor treatment from her, so if you’re in a situation where she has majorly disrespected you, then doing what I just said is your only option if you want there to be a chance of things working out between you eventually.
Tap here to return to the list of no contact rule related questions at the top of this page.
8. Myself and my ex work at the same place. How can I do the no contact rule?
Go no contact as far as you can. This means do not look to actively engage your ex in any conversations, other than necessary conversations about work. If you see her around, like in passing, then sure, say hi, but don’t stop to talk to her unless she stops you and makes all the effort.
That’s what we want – her to make all the effort – because that would set up a her-chasing-you dynamic that works in your favor. That’s the advantage you’ve got of working at the same place as your ex – she’s gonna see you around, meaning there is a natural opportunity there for her to start chasing after you. It might not happen right away, but just keep the contact to as little as you can get away with (without seeming bitter, sad or angry), and you’ll then have the best chance of getting her to chase, and arouse her own interest in you.
And what about when she DOES make the effort to talk to you?
Try your best not to show any emotion over the breakup. Just be the playful version of you that she originally fell for. Make jokes if that’s your thing.
Crucially though, don’t try to keep the conversation going any longer than she lets it. So for example, after you are done answering her question, don’t ask her one in return. Seem eager to get away. This is the no contact rule remember, so you don’t want to be prolonging the conversation any longer than necessary.
Tap here to return to the list of no-contact-rule-related questions at the top of this page.
9. Myself and my ex have kids together. How can I do the no contact rule?
Assuming you don’t live together (if you do, follow my answer to question 7 instead), you can do normal no contact with an ex-girlfriend most of the time. However, there may be times during no contact when you are forced into meeting with your ex in order to hand over or pick up your kids.
This obviously is unavoidable, but meetings like this that cannot be prevented must be handled in a way that can make them work to your advantage. Use the following tips to get the most from these brief ‘exchanges’:
— Turn up 10-20 minutes late. In turning up late, your ex-girlfriend will understand that you’re becoming more relaxed about what she thinks of you – which indicates that you have dating market options (if you didn’t then you’d be eager to never risk upsetting her). NEVER apologize for being late – or for anything else for that matter. Saying sorry is submissive and generally, with women, it is a bad idea.
Instead of saying sorry, for some situations, you could quote the famous Ronald Reagan expression, “mistakes were made”. Although this wouldn’t really be relevant for this particular situation, it’s one to remember for a later time when you make a mistake!
So always stop short of saying sorry – it’s usually a bad idea when it comes to building or maintaining attraction with women, even if it would be the right thing to do.
Anyway we’ve gone off topic – the point here is to shamelessly (or at least let it appear that way) turn up a bit late. If she asks why you are late, give a non-serious and playful answer. If your kid is particularly young you could make a joke of it and say, “oh we were just finishing our last beers” with a sly smirk on your face. Then go on to talk about what a session you and the kids had and what fun it was.
Your smirk will show her that it’s only a joke of course, and as you will see as you and I progress through this Guide together, this is the sort of playful, non-serious dialogue you should be having with your ex, or with any other woman you want to attract for that matter.
— Like the example in the point above suggests, respond playfully to her if she asks you things, but don’t try to extend the conversation any longer than it needs to be. That means just answering her questions and avoiding asking her any back. This is the no contact rule remember, and you’re just doing what you gotta do for your kids (which happens to involve seeing your ex) at this moment in time.
That said, by being a bit cold in terms of not actively engaging her in prolonged conversation, she may just go ahead and make more effort in the conversation, which hopefully will make her feel like she’s pursuing (chasing) you more than you are doing in return. This chasing dynamic is something we will be talking a lot more about, because as insignificant or unimportant as it may sound – it’s actually very powerful in terms of regaining and then holding a girl’s interest long-term.
So the idea here is to NOT put much effort into making conversation, but at the same time, approach seeing your ex-girlfriend in a positive and lighthearted way.
After no contact with your ex girlfriend is done, you can engage her in conversation more.
— If you’ve been broken up for a couple weeks or more already, there’s no harm in smelling ever so slightly like women’s perfume when you meet your ex briefly. Or instead, you could have the slightest smear of lipstick on your face or neck.
The trick is to make this barely detectable. It should look (or smell) like it accidentally got onto you hours ago. Just the tiniest little bit. If it’s not subtle like this, she’ll wonder what’s going on (but not in a good way).
So keep it subtle and this could just help her feelings towards you to change. This tip probably applies better to situations where you are collecting the kids rather than dropping them off, because it’s not ideal for your ex to think you may have been seeing a mistress while you were supposed to be looking after the kids!
Tap here to return to the list of no contact rule related questions at the top of this page.
10. One of myself or my ex is currently moving out, so we are forced to meet to get this done. How can I do the no contact rule?
For this situation, you can pretty much just follow the advice I gave for question 7 above.
One thing about moving out that I would like to mention is that if you and your ex are each 50% owners of the house, you should be looking to get her to move out instead of you moving out. This shows dominance and self-entitlement – 2 traits that women value when it comes to attraction.
Don’t be pushed out by her – she’ll hate you for not having some backbone and standing your ground.
Don’t let her make you sleep on the couch either. It’s YOUR bedroom as much as (or more than) hers, and it should be her finding somewhere else to sleep – especially if she’s the one who initiated the breakup.
Obviously if it is 100% your house, it’s her who leaves if one of you has to. I shouldn’t need to even mention this, but there’s guys out there who have become so submissive to their women that they actually let her kick him out of his own bedroom. Don’t be that guy – at least not any longer.
However, if it’s 100% her house, then you don’t really have a leg to stand on in terms of staying there, so find a new place to stay (preferably your own place but a friend’s place is okay, or your parents place as a last resort) and move out as soon as you can.
Why move so quick?
Because every day that you are staying in her house when she wants you to move, attraction is decreasing. That’s what this is all about – rebuilding the attraction – so as counter intuitive as moving out seems, in a lot of cases it actually improves your chances of bringing the attraction back (so that you can then eventually move back in together). It’s just necessary.
Tap here to return to the list of no contact rule related questions at the top of this page.
11. My ex left some of her stuff at my place, or I left some of my stuff at her place. She wants her stuff back, or I want my stuff back. How can the no contact rule work through this?
Get her to make all the effort. So if she wants her stuff back, she’s got to come and collect it.
This is no contact to get your ex girlfriend back remember, so if she’s gonna force a meet, then at least make it be a situation where she’s the one coming to you. Just claim that you’re busy and you don’t have time to drop it off, and then give her a couple of options for times she can drop by when you’ll be home.
If you want your own stuff back from her, I suggest you wait until no contact is over, try to build a rapport, and then get her to drop the stuff off at your place. The more effort she makes for you, the more she feels like the chaser, and better yet the more she feels invested in you. Both those things would encourage her to change her mind about you.
If she gets stroppy that she’s having to make the effort and because you’re not letting her have her own way, do not try to explain yourself – because that will get you nowhere. Instead, say something which shows that you’re totally unconcerned that she’s gotten stroppy. Example:
Her: Please don’t be difficult like this
You: I’m busy. You will have to deal with it this time.
This sort of reply also shows that you’ve got some backbone and can stand up to her, which are qualities you’ll need if you want to regain and keep her respect. If she still argues back to a reply like that, just ignore her and don’t reply.
12. It’s my ex’s birthday during the No Contact Period. Can I break the silence with a happy birthday text or even a gift?
Absolutely no gifts, unless you’re at the point of already having regular sex with her again, and EVEN THEN it should be a small, cheap gift that clearly shows that you are NOT seeking her approval from the purchase.
But for situations where sex is not yet happening, gifts would only work against you. She can’t respect the man who buys her stuff and then expects nothing in return. At least if you’re having sex with her regularly, she’ll be able to see that you are getting what you want from her already, and therefore the approval seeking element would be canceled out.
As for birthday texts, let’s just think about how much demand her attention will be in on that day. Her attention will be in huge demand, because she’s sure to be doing something for her big day, and that means she’s unlikely to make time for the extended dialogue and rapport that would work in your favor.
Add in the fact that sending her a birthday text is a strong indication that you still 100% clearly very much want her back (since you remembered her birthday), AND the fact that she excluded you from that day, yet STILL you text her happy birthday…You can see, a happy birthday text is not the best idea.
Even outside the No Contact Period, I still recommend not texting her on her birthday, but instead a couple of days LATE. The benefit to this is that A. you reach her at a moment when her time is not in high demand (like it is on her birthday), meaning she would feasibly have time to chat to you, and B. a belated birthday text doesn’t convey concrete interest (the 100% level of interest that makes girls bored due to lack of challenge).
So overall, a birthday text in a breakup situation of Category A description (see my main ex-back guide), is not likely to help in the way that you want it to. Outside of The No Contact Period, a LATE birthday text could work.
After No Contact Is Finished, What Then?
I’ve guided you through (in detail) how to successfully implement the no contact rule to get her back. However, that on its own will not tempt her back. You need to do a little more than that.
To learn what you need to do for your specific situation, please take my chances of getting your ex back quiz, and the results page will then give you what you need.
