You’re clearly a pretty smart guy. I can see this from the fact that you’re here reading this article on how to make your ex girlfriend jealous, or ex wife jealous. The fact you’re here reading this shows me that you’re already well aware that using jealousy is a good way to make your ex feel attracted to you again and make her want you back…
You clearly recognize that if your ex thinks other women want you, that’s going to increase your value in the dating market as SHE sees it, and then SHE TOO will want you more. It’s called, “preselection” – women want the guy who is in demand by other women.
But your ex’s interest level seems pretty low at the moment, right?
Yeah well something I’ve noticed is that it’s possible to make an ex jealous even if it’s become obvious that her feelings for you are currently close to zero. In other words, an ex who seemingly doesn’t care anymore can show huge amounts of jealousy, even though she swears she’s done with you. That makes using jealousy a good way to “jump-start” her feelings for you in a situation where she’s not leaving any signs that she wants you back.
With that in mind, it’s important to create the right amount of jealousy in your ex. It’s easy to overdo it, especially if you only recently broke up. We’ll discuss how to create the optimal amount of jealousy a little later in this discussion.
“I want to make my ex jealous!”
That’s fine, but WHY do you want to make your ex jealous?
Before we discuss the techniques to get your ex jealous, we first need to identify WHY you want to do that.
This is because the techniques for making an ex jealous below tend to work pretty darn well, and if you’re wanting to make her jealous for the wrong reasons, then you shouldn’t be doing it.
Now, I mentioned how powerful these techniques are and how well they work. Just quickly, you may be wondering if they can single-handedly make your ex want you back? There’s other steps you need to take to get a girl back, but the techniques will wake her up to the underlying feelings she’s still got for you beneath the surface. They’ll provide a foundation for her wanting you back. They’ll kick-start the process.
But do you even want her back? That’s what I’m getting at here. Or are you only trying to make her jealous so you can have sex with her one more time? Or because you want to get revenge, and have no intention of actually getting back with her? … Ultimately SHOULD you make your ex jealous?
As you can see, some of the possible reasons for wanting to make your ex jealous are toxic, and others are innocent. Here’s a couple clearer examples to demonstrate what I’m getting at better:
If you want to make your ex jealous just to spite her and mess with her emotionally, with no intent on actually working things out and getting back together, that is toxic and you shouldn’t be trying to make her jealous. Nobody benefits from that. It hurts the girl and it hurts you too in wasted time and negative energy.
On the other hand, if you want her back, and just plan to use jealousy as a tool to help you reach that goal, then I welcome you to go ahead and use the techniques on how to make an ex jealous below, because that’s an innocent and ethical use of jealousy (at least in my view). Your intention is to make both yourself and your ex happy, therefore you shouldn’t feel bad about temporarily using jealousy as a means to acheiving that.
The bottom line is that if you want to use jealousy as a tool to help make your ex and yourself happy by helping her to realize that actually you ARE the right guy for her (jealousy increases your mate value in her mind, thus helping her reach the decision to get back with you), then go ahead and use jealousy effectively in the ways I describe below. Just don’t use jealousy to intentionally hurt someone – that’s really my point here.
How To Make Your Ex Jealous – The Tactics To Use
With my ethical rant out the way, it’s time to reveal the techniques you’ll need to use for creating jealousy in your ex. For each technique, I’ll clue you in on how that technique makes it more likely that your ex ultimately will come back to you, even if it makes her angry or upset first.
Pro tip: It’s no problem to make a girlfriend or an ex or any romantic prospect upset or angry. BOREDOM is your enemy. When she feels bored about you, that is when the problems start to come. You’ll have the healthiest relationship possible if you can give your girl a RANGE of different emotions, and that includes some of the bad as well as the good.
Okay so here’s the techniques. Each one has a rating that shows how much jealousy it should create in your ex. The lowest rating is “tame”, and the highest rating is, “thermo-nuclear”. In the middle there’s ratings of “average” and “strong”.
You’ll want to start out using the “tame” techniques, which are listed first. If they don’t give you any improvement in your situation, then try the “average” ones as listed below them. And if they don’t work either, try the “strong” ones, and so on and so forth.
1. Take your sweet time texting back
Your ex knows that if you text her back quickly, or answer all of her phone calls, then she is your top (or maybe only?) prospect in terms of a potential partner. That means she knows that you don’t have other options (other women) on her level in terms of who to date – and THAT means that your value in her mind, drops.
But if you start to respond slower when she communicates, or if sometimes you don’t reply at all, this emits the type of could-give-a-fuck attitude (from you) that conveys high value in the dating market. Why is that?
It’s because when you reply slower (and thus clearly are relaxed about whether or not you’re able to get her back), she interprets that as, “he must be texting other women too – because if he wasn’t, he’d be replying as fast as he can to maximize his chances with me”.
That’s right, you text back slower, and that makes her believe that you’re possibly texting other women. All of a sudden she’s then feeling jealous!
Remember though, she has NO PROOF that you’re texting other women, so using this technique won’t cause her to lose interest. It’ll just make her jealous and think about you more, which works well for your chances of getting her back.
Jealousy Rating: Tame
2. Do the no contact rule
The no contact rule is a period of time after break up where you agree (to yourself) that you won’t contact your ex until that time period has elapsed. The idea is that if a break up has happened, then your ex will need some time away in order to become receptive to you again, because if she’s just broken up with you, then she’s not currently receptive at all.
If you do no contact (it is advisable in almost all break up situations), a bi-product of that may be jealousy coming from your ex.
So this isn’t a case of doing something specifically to invoke a jealousy reaction, this is just jealousy that may result from you doing what’s necessary to get your ex back – running a no contact phase.
The way it works is, when you fail to contact your ex, she then perceives that your interest in her must be dropping. And if your interest in her is dropping, your interest must surely now be focused elsewhere onto another girl, because if it wasn’t then you’d still be texting and calling her! On concluding this she then feels some jealousy, which is a nice side benefit of no contact.
“But Sam, won’t her thinking that my interest is falling, cause her to lose her interest in me?”
I see your logic with that, but no, in practicality, that isn’t how it works. When an attractive man leaves a woman, she often loves him long after his interest in her is gone. Your interest level in her (as perceived by her) has no bearing on how she feels about you. If anything it’ll make her MORE interested, if your interest is dropping. Like I said, your theory makes sense, but in practice that isn’t how it works.
Jealousy Rating: Tame
3. Get yourself in better physical shape
Get yourself down the gym, add to your wardrobe, and get a better hair cut. Ask your barber what he thinks would be best for your face shape and hair texture. It’s his job to know this stuff, and if he doesn’t then find a better barber.
When you’ve done that (it’ll take some time – especially in the case of improving your physique in the gym), do sporadic posts on social media that show your newly improved look and style.
It’s better to be posting about something NOT related to your improved look. Make the post about something you’re doing at the time. Your physical improvements will be noted by your ex and other chicks regardless, but the effect is a lot stronger if it’s done subtly (i.e. not as the actual point of your post).
For instance, if you’re posing for a photo at the swimming pool or beach with your shirt off, that’s what men do at these types of places anyway (shirt off), so your ex won’t interpret that as you particularly trying to show off. Whereas if you post a shirtless photo taken from your bedroom, that is clearly an attempt to show off and it won’t work so well.
The effect of this technique is that your ex will think, “why didn’t he look that good when he was with me?” and, “I guess he’s looking for someone new, or maybe he already found them”. Those thoughts are where baseline levels of jealousy in your ex can start to appear from.
Jealousy Rating: Tame
4. Be generally more upbeat than you “should be”
It will probably be your ex’s expectation that you’ll be quite down about the whole break up situation. And I’m sure you are – it’s only natural. But if you can convey that the break up isn’t bothering you too much, it’s going to make her somewhat jealous. Why?
Well if you seem okay about the break up, especially in the first few weeks after it happens, she’ll consider that it may not be bothering you too much because you have other options in the dating market. And that suspicion will raise your Dating Market Value in her mind – and make her feel a bit jealous.
So if you work with your ex or will probably see her in some other context, make sure you’re seeming totally at peace with the situation, and maybe even slightly upbeat. If you happen to be doing something fun you can also post about it on social media to demonstrate what a great time you’re having despite being separated from her. This should only be done outside of no contact though.
Jealousy Rating: Tame
5. Take a trip away and add girls you meet on social media.
If you can get the time off work and have the cash spare, doing a trip to a place you know your ex would find interesting, would be worthwhile. Take a ton of photos on your trip and post them to social media. Your value as a man will rise a bit higher in the mind of your ex this way.
Coincide those photos with adding the other travelers or locals that you meet on your trip, on social media. When your ex sees that some of these people are women, it’s sure to trigger some jealousy in her, especially considering that this was a vacation, so it’s likely that you hooked up with at least one of those women.
Jealousy Rating: Average
6. Make friends with a few girls on social media, in your area.
Chat with them and comment on their posts. Obviously the idea here is that your ex will see that you’re chatting with other women. If she’s blocked you online, just set your profile to public. Trust me when I say she’ll be monitoring it, even if she seems to have lost all interest.
The effect this can often have is that the ex starts to realize that her emotional stronghold over you is slipping, and her reaction to that may be to panic and start backtracking about her decision to break up with you.
That’s what you want, although you’d be a fool to take her back so quickly. It won’t last if you make it too easy for her to have you back. Women (men too actually) tend not to value something highly if it was too easy to obtain (or re-obtain). The more easy it is to get, the less we value it – that’s how humans respond to ease, psychologically.
It’s best to wait until after no contact before doing this one.
Jealousy Rating: Average
7. Ignore your ex’s messages and calls at night but be receptive during the day
If you stop responding to your ex’s messages after 9pm over the course of a few days, she will start to consider that you’re busy now on evenings. Busy doing what? Well that is exactly what she’ll be wondering, and that’s the state of mind you want her in – a state of not knowing (but instead suspecting) that you might have a new love interest. This is where jealousy hits her.
But she can’t lose interest in you over it because she’s got no proof or confirmation, only a suspicion!
Of course, if she suspects you’ve got something going on, it builds the idea in her head that you are a preselected, in-demand guy, and therefore your mate value must be higher than she thought. Your ex, of course, wants a high value man, so this works in your favor to increase her interest, until she starts showing signs she wants you back.
Jealousy Rating: Average
8. Mention in conversation with your ex that you were talking with your friend *girls name* and you guys concluded the same thing (relevant to your conversation with your ex).
So you’re chatting away with your ex, and she then makes a point about something, giving her view on it. You then say that you were chatting with your friend Kate (for example) about this, and you guys reached the same conclusion.
Since this tactic is dropped into the conversation as it flows and you didn’t have to bring this female friend up out of the blue, you’re able to create some jealousy in your ex without it looking at all like you were trying to make her jealous. Because if the cat gets out of the bag that you’re doing it on purpose, it loses all its power.
Of course, your ex is sure to wonder who “Kate” is, and this is where the jealousy comes from.
Don’t use this tactic if your ex knows for a fact that you don’t have any female friends. It is best used at any time after you’ve done the essential no contact rule.
Jealousy Rating: Average
9. Text your ex asking if it was her you saw at this bar or that bar
This is one you can use as a conversation starter via text. Ask your ex if that was her you just saw in *enter name of local nightlife establishment here*. Then you can add something else like, “I arrived but you were just leaving right?”
Make sure that the bar or club or whatever it is that you’re telling her you were in, is a place she knows people tend to hook up at. That way she’ll believe you’re at that place, which means she’ll be enclined to feel some jealousy. She’ll feel like her power over you is slipping because you’re out meeting other women, and this could force her to reconsider her decision to break up with you.
Jealousy Rating: Average
10. Text your ex saying you and a friend just saw a certain romcom and you think it’ll make her laugh
This message can be used as a conversation starter, and there’s a subtlety about it. You saw the movie with a friend, but since it was a romcom, that implies that the friend is probably female.
The image of you watching a movie with another girl is obviously likely to create some jealousy in your ex. It’ll also increase your value as she sees it, because she’ll suspect that you’re in demand by other women (preselected).
But obviously you’re sending this message to her under the guise of a favor, so that she can have fun watching this movie. That way she’s less likely to suspect that you’re just sending the message as a means to make her jealous. Because if she knows you’re trying to make her jealous, then this tactic completely loses it’s potency.
Jealousy Rating: Average
11. Switch your phone off or at least don’t go on social media after 9pm, so that she can see you’re busy at night
Switching off your phone and failing to check social media will make your ex think that you’re too busy to be contacted. If she calls, she’ll get voicemail, and if she checks..say facebook messenger for example, it’ll show her that you haven’t been online for hours. And then she’ll think, “what’s he so busy with?”
Of course, the image of you **possibly** (but not definitely – so she surely won’t lose interest in you over it) being with another girl, will enter her head. That’s where the jealousy comes from for this tactic.
Jealousy Rating: Strong
12. Go out with your friends on the town and get tagged in photos and statuses
While your ex expects you to be at home in pieces about the break up, what you want to do (if you can stomach it) is go out with your friends at night and get tagged in photos with girls in them. Or get tagged in a friend’s status at a place where your ex knows there will be lots of women. Post the photo or status yourself if you must, although the impact is better if a friend does it, because then it’s clearly not an attempt to make your ex jealous (haha).
The impact of this is twofold. On the one hand, your ex’s ego and perception of her dating market value take a hit relative to yours, because she sees you’re not as broken-hearted as you should be about not being with her anymore. She then starts to question whether you have options dating wise, because if you didn’t, then you’d be in a lot more pain over the break up. Your value in her eyes then goes up because she perceives that you have options.
On the other hand, there’s the opportunity for her to get jealous about the women you’re *possibly* meeting while you’re out and about that night. Again, it’s that state of not knowing for sure (just suspecting) that you might meet a new girl, that makes her panic a bit, and she then starts to question whether she may have made a huge mistake letting you go.
Jealousy Rating: Strong
13. Hang out with a female friend who your ex knows is just a friend
If you have a female friend, go hang out with her. Obviously your ex knows this girl is just a friend right, so this can make her a bit jealous, but not too jealous. Because although it’s just a friend, your ex still recognizes that this friend is a girl, and you’re a (currently single) dude, so she knows the potential is there for something to happen, even if it’s unlikely.
This tactic is best used after no contact is finished, and during the day time. If you meet a female friend at night, that’s when it moves from strong jealousy to thermo-nuclear. Wait at least 4 weeks since break up before hanging out with a female friend at night.
Get the female friend to post that she’s hanging out with you on social media, and to tag you in the post. That way your ex will see it. If the friend won’t do that, then just do the post yourself. It works better if you can get the friend to do it though, because then there’s no chance your ex will think, “he’s just posting that to make me jealous!”
Jealousy Rating: Strong (daytime) or Thermo-Nuclear (nighttime)
14. Go on a date with a new girl and post a photo to social media which includes a hint that it’s a date
As the title says – post a photo that looks like you may be out on a date, or maybe not. Make it hard to tell.
Just be aware that it’s easy to overdo this technique. If you post a photo of you and your new date, that doesn’t leave enough to your ex’s imagination. It gives her total confirmation that you’re now dating someone else, so she’ll be less inclined to (over)think about you.
But if you go on a date and take a photo that has an empty glass or a plate opposite YOUR glass or plate, that photo creates an element of mystery. Who’s glass is that, or was it put there by the staff even though you’re out alone? It’s unclear who you’re with or if you’re even with anyone at all, and this is the part that can get your ex jealously thinking, “who’s he out with?”
You could also just include the girl’s arm or hand on the edge of the photo. Your ex won’t know if you’re out with that girl or if it’s just a stranger at the establishment you’re in (unless you’re sat opposite them at a table).
Actually you don’t even need to be on a date for this tactic. Just add something to the photo that makes it look like there might be someone else with you, and you’re good to go.
This technique works in the same way as some of the others. Your ex feels like she’s losing her power over you, which forces her to have a rethink about whether she made the right decision walking away from you or not.
Taking a photo of you and your date together is going to be a step too far in most cases. It’s beyond thermo-nuclear and has a high chance of backfiring. You should be leaving hints that you’re maybe seeing someone else, rather than giving total confirmation.
NOTE: Posting a photo with a new date on social media is going to make your new date feel like you’re far more committed to forming a relationship with her than she is with you, which will cause HER interest (your date’s) to plummet. It can work in some cases, but just be prepared that the collateral damage of posting a photo with a new date to create jealousy in your ex, will be that the date loses her interest in you.
Jealousy Rating: Strong but possibly thermonuclear depending on the photo.
15. Set up a fake social media hoax
This is a sneaky status to make your ex jealous, and the jealousy it creates is thermonuclear. It is however probably the easiest technique on this whole list.
What you do is write a short post on social media about a girl (could be real or ficticious) saying something nice about her. Then 2-3 minutes later write a reply to the status, again from your own account, saying, “haha very funny *girl’s name*, I’ll have to be more careful around you in future!”
So what it ends up looking like is that a girl hijacked your social media account and wrote something nice about herself. Here’s an example:
“Sarah is probably the coolest chick I’ve ever met. She’s so awesome.”
Then you reply to that 2-3 minutes later with, “haha very funny *girl’s name*, I’ll have to be more careful around you in future!”
Obviously your ex will then think that you’re hanging out with a mystery new girl, and feel incredibly jealous. Use this tactic with caution. That means use this only after you’ve tried other techniques from this article already and found that they haven’t yet gotten you the desired effect. Like I said be careful though because this is moving out of how to make your ex jealous and into how to make your ex crazy for you.
Jealousy Rating: Thermo-Nuclear
16. Send your ex a message that was meant for another girl
This is one to try if you’ve done the other techniques already and nothing seems to be working. It’s the metaphorical equivalent of a doctor sending electric shocks into a patient’s heart that has stopped beating. It’s one last ditch effort to shock your ex’s failing feelings for you back into life. Sometimes it works and often it doesn’t, but hey you tried everything else above, so it’s worth a go right?
Sometimes the ex will believe this was an honest mistake, and other times not. It’s not guaranteed to work, but when it does work, boy does it work! Obviously this text makes it clear to your ex that you’re moving on and are chatting to new girls. And if it does work, that’ll be because it made her panic that you’re slipping away. Her panic then causes her to have a change of heart.
Jealousy Rating: Thermo-Nuclear
17. Text your ex about stuff that you never did together, asking if she remembers when you guys did that
Send your ex a text asking her if she remembers the time you guys did ______ together, and ______ happened.
The idea here is that as what you’re saying you did together is a fictitious event that you didn’t actually experience together, she’ll then think, “he’s confused me with someone else who he actually DID do that with.”
She’ll assume it was a woman that you did ‘that’ with, because otherwise you wouldn’t be confused into thinking you’d done it with her (since she’s a woman too) – and that will provoke a jealousy reaction in her.
What the activity is that you supposedly did together, and what happened during that activity, is up to you and your creativity. Example of things to say to make your ex jealous:
“Do you remember when we watched that movie together and your cat started eating the popcorn?”
“Do you remember when we were out shopping and that seagull dropped a bomb on me! Ruined my shirt!”
That’s just a couple ideas off the top of my head, but it’s enough to show you the type of thing you should be looking at sending to make jealous or mind fuck your ex.
This tactic is best used as part of a conversation rather than out of the blue, but also after at least a month of having broken up (after you’ve used the other jealousy creation techniques above already).
Jealousy Rating: Thermo-Nuclear
The effects of jealousy on your ex – what she is likely to do in reaction to it
I’m sure you’re curious to know how jealousy tends to affect an ex, and what this does in regards to your chances of getting her back. Let’s get into that now.
First of all, now that you know how to make your ex jealous as shown above, the tactics you use will have the knock on effect of improving your dating market value in her mind. Why?
Because the jealousy comes from implying that you may be seeing or are not far away from starting to see other women. Your ex and all chicks are wired to feel attracted to men who are wanted by other women. So by creating the perception that you possibly have access to other women, not only does it make her jealous but it raises your value in her eyes too.
In terms of her behavior, when she’s jealous she’s likely to text you more and start to chase you more. Basically, you can expect her to give you more attention – that is, if the techniques above work and do indeed make her jealous.
What you can’t expect, is that making her jealous and thus improving your mate value in her mind, will be enough to fully tempt her back to you on its own. That absolutely isn’t the case. It nearly always takes more than that.
What does it take then, specifically?
You’ll need to convey high dating market value via the way that you text and talk on the phone, via your vibe and body language improving, and you’ll need to make certain moves at certain times to maximize the chance that getting back together happens.
It’s all pretty easy stuff as long as you know what to do, and when.
The thing is, most guys don’t know what to do and when, and actually, the fact that this information hasn’t gone mainstream is probably why it still works. Because if the advice I give and the get your girlfriend back steps that I teach, went mainstream, women would expect them, and then they wouldn’t work any longer. So, it’s better if you keep this stuff to yourself, or just let a few friends know about it in case they ever need it!
- I Broke Up With My Girlfriend But Feel Dumpers Regret. What To Do Next? - July 18, 2017
- What To Do After The No Contact Rule Is Over – The Steps To Take! - July 10, 2017
- FAQ – Answering All Your Lingering No Contact Questions - July 7, 2017