If you’ve just had a breakup, you’re very likely panicking right now trying to decide how to fix the mess you’re in.
I imagine you’ve read a bit online on what to do about it, and the idea of stopping the communication (no contact) with your ex-girlfriend for a period of time, is probably appearing in what you’re reading.
So now you’re thinking, “Does no contact work? And if so, WHY does no contact work?”
Table of Contents
First of All, Yes, No Contact Does Work. Really.
Having used the no contact rule myself and had it work, and having then started this website and encouraged thousands of other guys to use it too, and having seen their no contact success stories, I can definitively say, yes, the no contact rule works.
That’s the short answer. If you’re not bothered about WHY it works, and you just need to know how to use the no contact rule, then go read my article on that now.
Okay so now that I’ve given you a clear answer on whether or not no contact works, let’s just talk a little about what you’re getting yourself into with it, before we discuss WHY no contact works.
No contact is one of the most emotionally tough and frustrating things you’ll ever go through. It will be very, very hard to get through without breaking and reaching out to your ex.
That in mind, with the way I’ve seen NC work for clients of mine in all kinds of different complicated situations, I can wholeheartedly recommend it as the first step that you take after a breakup with an ex-girlfriend or wife.
For most situations, it is THE correct first step to take. It’s also the correct step to take if you already tried a bunch of other shit which has failed miserably.
Now, no contact does work but it doesn’t have a 100% success rate. If doing a no contact phase doesn’t work though, nothing else would have worked either anyway. Why?
Because if you don’t give your ex-girlfriend some time apart to let this whole breakup thing fall into the past, then she won’t have the capacity, emotionally speaking, to want you back and show signs that she wants you back.
So nothing else can work to get her back, until no contact has been done. Let’s discuss that in a little more depth…
WHY No Contact Works On Women (Even Stubborn Ones) After a Breakup
Women make their decisions (especially with regards to who they date) on an EMOTIONAL basis. That means that if a woman has broken up with you, it’s because she’s been feeling negative emotions about you (usually boredom), probably for quite a while.
Now, in the time shortly after she’s felt these negative emotions about you and broken up with you, you almost certainly can’t get her back at that point. All you can do is give those emotions of hers TIME to cool off and dissipate. And THAT can only happen by you leaving her alone for a while (which is the definition of no contact, pretty much).
SO you CAN get her back, just not yet.
If you do ANYTHING ELSE other than leave her to cool off (for instance if you try to convince her to stay with you, or give her gifts), it won’t work because the negative emotions she’s been feeling about you, which are the reason she broke up with you, would still be there.
In actual fact, trying to convince her to take you back or giving her gifts, these are tactics that don’t work at ANY time. That’s because in both cases you’re basically chasing and pursuing her, communicating to her that her Dating Market Value (DMV) is higher than yours. This is a problem because she wants a man who’s DMV is at least as high as hers. That’s a topic for a how to get her back discussion, though.
Basically you need to allow your ex-girlfriend’s negative emotions towards you, time to cool off and disappear into the past.
Or in other words, you need to run no contact. This way, her negative emotions will cool, and she’ll then be in a frame of mind where you may be able to get her to come back to you. This is walking away to get her back!
So when I say really the no contact rule works, I mean that it works to set you up with a blank canvas and a fresh start, so that you’ve then got a base from which you can work to get your ex girlfriend back.
Does the no contact rule work on women in and of itself, without you having to do anything else? Will no contact bring her back on its own?
Not usually, no. Don’t get me wrong, it plays a hugely important part after a breakup, but if the only step you take is to do no contact, you’ll likely fail. No contact needs to be involved, but you need to do more than that, overall.
In essence, no contact sets the foundation for getting your ex-girlfriend back, but it won’t do the entire job – only set the foundation. And it’s a foundation that, without it, the steps that actually DO work to get a woman back, wouldn’t work.
To be clear, you NEED this foundation of no contact done first, so that the steps that DO work to get a girl back, CAN work. Without the foundation of no contact done up front, the same steps that would have worked had you done no contact, would be ineffective… No contact is THAT important.
For anyone wondering what does no contact do, if you read the few paragraphs just above, you’ll have a really clear idea about it. Will no contact work to get my ex back? Yes it can, but you’ll need to take other steps too.
Does No Contact Work (Or Will It Work) For My Specific Situation?
Here’s the test for whether or not no contact would work for your situation. Answer these quick questions with a yes or a no, and I’ll tell you if running the no contact phase is the best way for you to proceed or not.
Did YOUR breakup just happen in the last few days?
If yes, do no contact, 100%. It’s the best thing for your situation, regardless of how complex that situation is. Your ex-girlfriend NEEDS that cooling off period, to just let the negative emotions she’s been feeling towards you, drift away into the past. That way she’ll gain the CAPACITY to get back with you a bit later on. She’s just not ready to be back with you at this moment – so do the no contact phase, and then follow the rest of the steps for getting an ex-girlfriend back.
Was your breakup a week or more ago, but you haven’t done an extended period of time out of contact yet?
If yes, do the no contact rule. Until you spend some time apart first, no other tactics to get her back are going to be able to work. This HAS to happen first.
Have you done a no contact phase, either intentionally or quite by accident, but since then, the situation has not improved at all, or even gotten worse?
In this case, do a new no contact phase, except this time, do it the RIGHT way, like I teach here.
Didn’t answer yes to any of those questions?
No worries! That means that although no contact works, you don’t need to do it, and you can instead move onto step 2, which is to improve your vibe, masculinity and general attractiveness. To see this step, please first take my ex-back chances quiz. Your results page will then give you the other steps to take in your specific situation.
No Contact Success Stories
I’ve had many clients that have come to me with ex-back success stories. They don’t always mention no contact as a standout part of the strategy that got them their ex back, but some sure do! The reason why (usually) is written into this article above…it just allows your ex some breathing room that gives her the capacity to miss you and want you back.
That’s how I’ve been able to write this article..from clients coming to me with no contact rule success stories and telling me why it worked for them:
“Doing no contact really made my ex miss me, and I was able to use that to get her back.” – Charlie T, May 2017.
“NC gave me some time to work on myself, but it also caused a change in my ex. She was a lot more receptive to my texts after I did it.” – Shay F, June 2017.
No contact is like the springboard that kick-starts the process of getting a girl back. She gets space from you, and that enables her to miss you. Then you use the fact that she’s missing you, to get her back.
- I Broke Up With My Girlfriend But Feel Dumpers Regret. What To Do Next? - July 18, 2017
- What To Do After The No Contact Rule Is Over – The Steps To Take! - July 10, 2017
- FAQ – Answering All Your Lingering No Contact Questions - July 7, 2017