There are 2 different types of cheating and therefore 2 different answers to this question, “should I dump my girlfriend for cheating?”.
Cheating type 1: with a guy she started seeing AFTER she met you
In this situation the girl has typically been with the guy for over a year, and she’s gotten bored of her boyfriend. He seems to behave less attractively to her every day, and she’s got herself another guy on the side to provide some excitement.
In this situation, where the relationship is well established at over a year old, and she has cheated, then yes, dump her ASAP. If you don’t, she WILL dump you anyhow, or at the very least, cheat again. Why?
Well, she has lost respect for you (otherwise she wouldn’t have found a new guy). And if you stick by her after she cheats like this, she’ll lose so much more respect for you, due to you clearly letting her walk all over you, that she’d be disgusted to call you her boyfriend any longer.
So either way, when a girl cheats after the relationship is long since established, it’s over. All that is left to be decided at this point, is how much dignity you get to walk away with. If you dump her, you keep some. But if you’re too weak to dump her and she has to end it herself since you allowed her to disrespect you in the biggest way that a girl can disrespect a guy, then you’re left with no dignity.
Should I dump my girlfriend for cheating in this situation? Yes absolutely.
Cheating type 2: with a guy she started seeing BEFORE she met you
Especially in the first 6 months of a new relationship, most girls will continue to see whichever guy they were seeing prior to meeting you. An attractive girl is always seeing someone, and that includes the time at which you met her. It would be unrealistic of you to expect her to put a stop to that arrangement she had with her last guy overnight, after it had been going on perhaps months or even years.
What I just told you is one of women’s best kept secrets: they have a transition period in the early part of a new relationship, where they gradually commit to you and leave behind their previous guy. Commitment from a new chick does NOT happen overnight. Not even from the sweetest girl ever, who ‘wouldn’t possibly’ see 2 guys at once.
Women are typically very discreet about their meetings with guys they were seeing before they met you, so it’s likely that you’ll never find out. But if you have found out, here is how to play it.
First, dump her for it and tell her she’s been out of order. You want her to see that you’re a high value man who won’t stand any shit from anyone. Then, after several days, tell her you’ve had a think, and you can see that it was unrealistic of you to expect her to just drop her last guy straight away – at a time when you and her were still new.
Of course, in an ideal world (for you), she would have just dropped her last guy like a sack of shit when she met you. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and there is often months of overlap as a chick moves from her old guy to her new one. It’s not nice for you, but it is reality, and if you think that apart from this situation, she’d make a good girlfriend, then it could be worth accepting it, and going back to her. Technically it is cheating, but realistically, all chicks do it and it is just a fact that there is a degree of overlap between old guy and new guy. That IS what happens with relationships, and if you can’t accept it, then you’ll just have to wait until you meet a girl who hides her overlap period really well, and never lets you find out about it.
Most guys reading this will think I’m batshit crazy for suggesting that you accept that your girl carried on seeing a guy after she met you, but ALL women do this. Think about it: if she’s been seeing a guy for 6 months before she met you, she’s not just gonna say to him “can’t see you anymore”. Why not? Because YOU don’t mean much to her yet – you haven’t been with her for long enough to give the relationship that much importance in her mind.
In the end you will have to make a judgement yourself. I’m just saying its a fact of life that women always have a guy somewhere, and they transition from him to their new guy (you) slowly, whilst seeing both the old guy and new guy at the same time for a few months. It doesn’t make her poor girlfriend material like it would if she had gone and found an entirely NEW guy after meeting you. That’s totally different. This is an old guy and it’s pretty much habit for her to see him, so it takes a while for her to fully leave him behind.
So I suggest you dump her initially to show that you mean business, and then call her in a few days to say that you understand her situation, but at this point now, she’s gotta stop seeing him. And even then she may not stop because it takes months to really get full honest commitment from a girl!
Overall: Should you dump your girlfriend for cheating?
For cheating Type 1 as addressed above, yes absolutely, and prepare in your mind for it to be permanent. Only even consider taking her back if she grovels and begs excessively and clearly REALLY wants you and regrets what she did.
For cheating Type 2, yes you should dump her right off the bat, but after a few days tell her you’ve had a rethink and maybe give her another shot.
And if you do decide you want to resurrect the relationship after she cheated, you will need to rebuild her attraction to you. She wouldn’t have cheated in the first place if that attraction wasn’t failing. How to rebuild the attraction? Treat this like a break up. If she cheated she’s all but broken up with you already, just hasn’t officially said the words yet. So you basically need to get her back, and I have a solution that’s perfect for that…
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